Today, we are talking about why people avoid having helpful conversations with loved ones who are hurting and grieving, and how to have healing and supportive conversations with someone that’s in emotional pain.

This episode of Change It Up Radio serves as a valuable guide to having supportive conversations, providing listeners with tools and insights to help others navigate through difficult life changes and circumstances.

Paula shares vital tips on how to converse with individuals dealing with pain or grief and explains that support should be provided at a humane level, prioritizing empathy and emotional understanding over intellectual reasoning. She discusses the timing of conversations, emphasizing that while supporting someone in pain, it’s crucial to allow space for emotional processing before attempting to engage in logical conversations.

Paula highlights the concept of limiting beliefs – subconscious constructs that might hinder our growth or distort our perception of life events – and explains why such beliefs can act as barriers in a person’s life. She shares how techniques from energy psychology, such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and TFT (Thought Field Therapy), can be employed to counter these limitations and replace them with empowering beliefs.

Lastly, Paula talks about the conventional concept of the ‘five stages of grief,’ and explains why grief is an individual journey and should not be generalized into specific stages. Be sure to tune in for next week’s episode, where she will be continuing this discussion and outlining the five steps of a successful healing conversation.

Some key topic points covered in this episode include:

  • How a person’s cultural conditioning shapes their worldview and emotional responses to various situations
  • Why different individuals might react differently to the same situation
  • How our subconscious holds limiting beliefs that can hinder our progress or influence how we perceive life
  • Using energy psychology techniques to replace limiting beliefs with more empowering ones
  • Tips for conversing with people in pain and connecting on a humane level versus just an intellectual one
  • How each person’s grief journey is unique and shouldn’t be boxed into specific stages
  • Why the timing of discussions matters when communicating with a person who is in pain
  • How genetic signatures can help us understand some of our inexplicable feelings or fears and address them appropriately

About Paula:

Image of Paula Shaw - Change It Up Radio with Paula Shaw

Paula Shaw was Certified by the Grief Recovery Institute’s Program through Loyola Marymount University as a Grief Recovery Specialist. She has been helping grieving people for over 28 years, using mind/body techniques to guide them through the discomfort of change and challenge, eliminating stress, depression, anxiety, weight gain, relationship distress, career challenges, a lack of energy, and self-destructive, addictive behavior.

These tools bypass the conscious mind–which is often rendered useless when emotions overwhelm us–and they work directly with the subconscious mind to shift problematic thinking, feelings, and behaviors that can result. Through these methods, it is possible to feel a sense of power and control in your life in a very short time.

Paula helps individuals regain successful lives by quickly identifying and eliminating self-sabotaging behavior and limiting beliefs by uncovering and addressing their core issues. Working with a wide variety of healing modalities, she provides her clients with the most effective processes for their specific needs. Because every person has unique challenges, this customized approach is critical to their success.

Paula is also the author of Chakras, the Magnificent Seven, which is a primer to the Chakra System and how to use it for greater health and healing, Grief… When Will This Pain Ever End?, which looks at loss and grief and provides practical, simple articles, processes, and exercises to help a grieving person move through their pain and back into joyful living, and her latest book, Saying the Right Thing When You Don’t Know What to Say, which is a guide to navigating difficult conversations that provides five steps to creating helpful, healing conversations.

If you are experiencing issues that feel overwhelming and you think that you might need help to overcome them, Paula offers a complimentary 20-minute consult that you can book on her website,, or contact her at (858)-480-9234.

Check out the video of this episode below:

Resources Mentioned:

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